Let’s talk about love…

love story set. all images in this series, see my portfolio

Ok, I’ll admit it.

I don’t do Valentines Day.

There, I said it.

In fact, I happen to think it’s the least romantic day of the year.

And it’s not just because I’ve never received a card at Valentines – let alone anything else. Ever. Even before I decided I didn’t like the Hallmark sentimentality. I don’t think I’ve ever been that type of girl – the type of girl who is sent flowers or cards at Valentines – although when I was younger, I desperately wanted to be that type of girl. Cue sad violin music.

I remember clearly the Valentines Day before the man who would become my husband and I started dating. We were working together and he received flowers from a soon to be ex-girlfriend. He was mortified. I’m still not sure whether it was the surprise (he doesn’t like surprises), or the fact that she’d blown that much money, or that girls aren’t supposed to buy guys flowers. Whatever. He hated it and they split very soon after. I think they were probably already in the processes of splitting – hence the flowers.

By the time the next Valentines Day came about we’d been together for about 8 months. He asked whether I wanted to do anything, and copped the (first of many over the years) soapbox stance about how the food is worse on Valentines Day, the price of everything goes up, and how there’s no romance or spontaneity in being told that on this day you should show your partner that you love her/him.

To me, it’s like New Years Eve: when you’re told that you have to party and have a good time because it’s New Years Eve. I don’t like being told what to do, and when.

Now before you go and assume that I’m not romantic, that’s absolutely not the case. I absolutely believe in romance – I have to: I’m in the business of writing happy endings. Nor is it the case that hubby doesn’t do the occasional flower thing – usually though, it’s when I least expect it, and most need it. Like the time when I went in for some nasty girly surgery and he brought me two bunches of flowers: herbs for his wife, and daisies for his love. Awwwww.

So when I say I don’t do Valentines Day, what I really mean is I don’t do all the card, flowers, expensive set menu brouhaha of it.

But, when you’ve been together for a while, when domestic business as usual takes over, days like Valentines and anniversaries are little reminders that every so often your relationship needs to be put front and centre.

Sometimes in the whirl of work, bills, mortgages, homework, family stuff, you need a reminder about why you’re together. And Valentines is good for that.

To me, it’s about the sentiment, not the expenditure.

We won’t share cards. But we will share a joke – about the flowers he ordered from that florist in Canberra. It’s the same florist he’s ordered from each year for the last 27 years who never delivers. Somehow I think the delivery will go astray again this year.

Because it’s Monday, I’m linking up with Denyse Whelan for Life This Week

Author: Jo

Author, baker, sunrise chaser

19 thoughts

  1. I had been thinking about booking us into a very fancy dinner under twinkling lights because I’m in desperate need of some romance at the moment and life is just a little too busy for that at the moment, but the school put on Meet the teacher, so I’m hoping after that we can walk up the road to a bar for a drink. That will have to be it. Apparently our school doesn’t do Valentine’s Day either…

    1. We managed a quick meal at the local Chinese the other night- something really ordinary that became special because it was a little bit of quiet us time in the middle of relocation chaos. Enjoy…

  2. I agree, love is more about the sentiments than the expenditure. It’s also lots of little meaningful moments between two people. V Day is the anithesis of this to me.

    SSG xxx

  3. Yeah, I like to do romance when it’s unexpected…the little doing things rather than the flashy expected things.

  4. I’m a bit the same re expectations (esp about NYE). I don’t do V.Day as I’ve never been partnered up… so… though I do get an annual card from my mother!

  5. We don’t do Valentine’s Day as I don’t believe you need a day to remind yourself to show your love to someone. Like all holidays it is so commercial and I’d rather a spontaneous show of love rather than coforming to one day each year. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond

  6. I have had good Valentine’s Day dinners out and bad ones and a funny one where we shared the night with my nephew and his lovely wife.
    I agree that menus are often over-priced and predictable and also spontaneous flower deliveries are much nicer than over-priced red roses without any perfume.
    We prefer to focus on doing something special for birthdays, or just because .

  7. Like you I don’t believe we need a designated day to show someone we love them or think they are pretty special. It’s much more meaningful when love and affection is unexpected. Lovely post. Xx

  8. I don’t think I’ve ever had a valentine’s dinner. If i did I can’t remember. Must have been really special! I like the idea of sharing a joke instead.

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