Ok, I’ll admit it.
I don’t do Valentines Day.
There, I said it.
In fact, I happen to think it’s the least romantic day of the year.
And before you go all ‘well, that’s because you’ve been married forever,’ or ‘wow, this bad mood of Jo’s is continuing longer than usual,’ let me clear up a few things:
- I’ve never done Valentines Day- even back when we were first dating…yes, I can remember back that far.
- The mood is back to normal.
Growing up in country Australia in the 70’s and 80’s, it wasn’t much of a deal. To us, Valentines was something that was big in America…a Hallmark thing.
It wasn’t until I got older that it became a “thing.”
Here’s another confession: I’ve never received even a card at Valentines. Ever. Even before I decided I didn’t like the Hallmark sentimentality. I don’t think I’ve ever been that type of girl- although when I was younger, I desperately wanted to be that type of girl. Cue sad violin music.
I remember clearly the Valentines Day before the man who would become my husband and I started dating. We were working together and he received flowers from a soon to be ex girlfriend. He was mortified- I’m still not sure whether it was the surprise (he doesn’t like surprises), or the fact that she’d blown that much money, or that girls don’t buy guys flowers. Whatever.
By the time the next Valentines Day came about, we’d been together for nearly a year. He asked whether I wanted to do anything, and copped the (first of many over the years) soapbox stance about how the food is worse on Valentines Day, the price of everything goes up, and how there’s no romance or spontaneity in being told that on this day you should show your partner that you love her/him.
To me, it’s like New Years Eve- when you’re told that you have to party and have a good time because it’s New Years Eve.
I don’t like being told what to do, and when.
Now before you go and assume that I’m not romantic, that’s absolutely not the case. Nor is the case that hubby doesn’t do the occasional flower thing- usually though, it’s when I least expect it, and most need it.
So when I say I don’t do Valentines Day, what I really mean is I don’t do all the card, flowers, expensive set menu brouhaha of it.
But, when you’ve been together for a while, when domestic business as usual takes over, days like Valentines and anniversaries are little reminders that every so often your relationship needs to be put front and centre.
Sometimes in the whirl of work, bills, mortgages, homework, family stuff, you need a reminder about why you’re together. And Valentines is good for that.
To me, it’s about the sentiment, not the expenditure.
We won’t share cards. The three of us will probably also share a meal- something a little more special cooked by me. And we will share a joke- about the flowers he ordered from that florist in Canberra…the same florist he’s ordered from for the last 24 years who never delivers.