I must confess: I’m not writing…

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So I haven’t written one single productive income producing word in weeks.

I haven’t even written one single future income producing word in weeks.

I’ve thought about it- a lot.

I have a list of potential article ideas. Ok, it’s not really a list- I don’t do lists. Instead it’s a heap of post it notes randomly stuck on my office wall.

There’s so many ideas on the list/wall that I think I’m going to have to either throw a dart and see what gets hit, or work down the list one by one until the floor is covered with screwed up balls that used to be post it notes with ideas on them.

So I have article ideas.

I have the first and last chapter written on my next fiction project- and ideas for another three…which is great if I could get even something published. Everyone says to just keep writing. Keep the faith. You’re getting so close.

I know that. I am getting close. I’m getting rejections that are encouraging rather than silence. I’m getting rejections from publishers telling me they’ve read the whole thing even though they knew it wouldn’t fit their list. Great….I guess. The logical theory says that I have to get it in front of someone whose list it would fit- but that seems further away than ever.

So I haven’t written any fiction words either.

I have the first draft written of a non fiction astro book that I firmly believe has commercial potential- and definitely won’t send me down the road of heartbreak that fiction does.

I haven’t written a word on that either.

Not one income producing or potentially income producing word in weeks.

Since before holidays.

I don’t know whether it’s because I’m out of routine.

I don’t know whether it’s because I don’t have something on the horizon that I’m working towards- I just have these vague goals that obviously need to be tightened up.

I don’t know which came first- the candy crush addiction or the unproductivity. I’m thinking that my candy crush addiction came from a need to find a viable procrastination tool, rather than the other way around.

Speaking of which- just how do I get past level 23 without buying boosters, lives or whatever?

Anyways, I’ve tried my usual tricks.

I’ve tried reading good writing (I can absolutely recommend Into My Arms by Kylie Ladd).

I’ve tried watching good writing (I’m back on The West Wing– it’s the best writing I can think of to watch).

I’ve tried exercising at the crack of sparrows fart- that 6am pump class is a killer.

So why isn’t anything working?

I think I’ve already said that- I’ve temporarily lost the faith.

Rather than admitting that, admitting that I’m scared, admitting that I’m not beating the world at the moment, I’ve fallen into something a lot more comfortable and lazy than that.

I’ve fallen into nothing.

My husband told me this morning that if I don’t write something productive soon, then I’ll be writing a resume.

So, with that in mind, I’m stepping away from candy crush, stepping away from the TV, putting a face and something other than my jammies and ugg boots on, and going back to work- my work.

For the writers out there- how do you dig yourself out of the fug and keep the faith?

What are your tricks for breaking through writers block?

Comments

15 comments on “I must confess: I’m not writing…”
  1. Hi Jo,

    Anyone who follows my blog knows that I have been in the shit lately (had been). I let the rejections break me to the point of depression. I knew I had to change. I HAD TO CHANGE. The way I was working was not coming from a place of love and peace. It was coming from a money hungry desperation to succeed.
    I stopped turning the computer on. I stopped pitching to magazines. I stopped writing my novel. I stopped writing my blog. I just stopped. I am now “allowing” myself to just be. I don’t plan. I don’t write lists. I don’t pitch ideas. I don’t write unless I am inspired from a place of love. Sure, I sometimes fear that I may never write again and that my dream has died but I am coming to terms with my deep seeded issues with fear and that is more important to me at this moment. I have a very unhealthy relationship with money (always have) and considering I just put myself in debt to buy a fancy new camera set-up, not working much right now is not really ideal but sometimes you just need to take a few steps backwards to be able to then move forward. I don’t want to get all spiritual on you but I am searching for love in my life. And it needs to start with ME; within me.
    You’re not alone Jo. Kia Kaha

    1. jo says:

      Thanks Jen. It’s funny you say “kia kaha”- I have that posted on my “vision” board. Stay strong. Live strong. I love it.

  2. hi Jo, I’ve been in a similar space recently. I was busy with paid projects (yeah) early in the year and I know I’m one of those people who get more done when they’re busy. I feel inspired, I structure my time well, etc. Admittedly my energies have been pulled elsewhere recently (thank you Scorpio/Taurus eclipses) but when I remember to what I always try and do is go with what I’m feeling to get me out of the feeling. Does that make any sense? If I’m feeling sad, dissatisfied, despairing or I’m in a ‘nothing’ space, I try and really feel it and remind myself that it’s all part of life and ‘this too shall pass’. Sometimes you have to fully immerse yourself into the feeling/emotion to be able to fully let it go and move on. That’s my experience anyways. Hope it helps. Sx (p.s. I also did the candy crush addiction. It doesn’t help, although I did get to level 35!)

    1. jo says:

      Thanks Sally- it does help. I get so much done when I’m busy, so often any sort of deadline helps. As you say, this too shall pass…

  3. Zohra Aly says:

    I like what your hubby said, that’s as good as any deadline, eh?
    I find myself drifting around too, at the moment, blaming the lack of routine, the scarcity of time etc. But I am telling myself to put my writing first, ahead of anything else on the list for the day. I find that if I sit down to write first thing i do in the day, I’m much more productive- well i tried that yesterday, and it worked well. Today is a different story….but i do think that I need to tell myself it’s my JOB- and I need to get on with it…so a little mental note to give myself a stern talking to tonight!

    1. jo says:

      That’s the key, I think- treating it as a business, a job. I wouldn’t faff around on my employers time, & now I’m my boss, so I treat myself in a way I would never have treated a boss. Mindset.

  4. I hope you can get past the writers block Jo. All I can suggest is maybe taking some time out to find the inspiration again…good luck with it!

    1. jo says:

      Thanks Kirsty…

  5. Jen Frahm says:

    3 options.

    1) Reality check – you just wrote 543 words. Maybe you are writing? Reframe the problem (I think you did though, it’s a crisis of faith? Rock those encouraging rejections baby!
    2) Indulge the ennui. It is actually part of the writing process. Gives the sub conscious time and space to formulate and create. In organisational life, we call it slack. Your boss would (should) allow that. Faff time is good.
    3) Discipline — Write everyday for a set period of time. Even if it is your name repeatedly. Get the mechanics working and the creative will follow.

    For the record, I favour #2, and use #3 to work through #1 ; – )

    1. jo says:

      so true. Thanks Jen…

  6. Kylie Ladd says:

    Thanks so much Jo 🙂 (“Good writing”. Yeah!) And I’m not sure if this helps, but my first novel, After The Fall, was rejected 40+ times. Good luck and keep the faith. xxx

    1. jo says:

      Thanks Kylie for dropping by…It does help 🙂

  7. I’m still trying to crack my first ‘paid’ gig. It’s hard to stay focused sometimes, but I write daily whether it’s on my fiction, my blog or working on story ideas and pitches. I keep going because writing makes my heart sing (but recognition would always be welcome!)

    1. jo says:

      I hear you! I’ve recently scored some semi regular horoscope work, but I’m trying to diversify away from just astro writing. I have a mountain of pitch ideas from travelling, but to date haven’t had the guts to send them out…own worst enemy sometimes.

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