Today I’m lucky honoured to have as my special guest, Snowy the white reindeer.
Snowy has been seen in all the hot spots around Sydney over the last couple of weeks, so I was fortunate she made some time in her busy schedule for me.
And Anyways: Snowy, thank you for carving out some time for me.
Snowy: You’re welcome. Did my publicist provide you with the list of subjects that can’t be talked about?
AA: Yes. Snowy, your sexuality has been the topic of much discussion. Are you a male or female?
Snowy: Definitely a girlie girl. Female reindeers do grow antlers- I googled it.
AA: Snowy, can you tell me how you keep in such great shape?
Snowy: Good question. Naturally I follow a vegetarian diet- and I’m a huge fan of the raw food movement. As you’d imagine, a girl like me would find herself in situations where I’m offered all sorts of indulgences- especially at this time of the year. Generally though, I resist the chocolates and champagne and stand firm. A moment on the lips, a lifetime of the hips, as they say.
Have you seen Rudolph lately? That boy has been taking a few too many cookies meant for Santa if you ask me- he’s definitely getting a little wider across the bum.
AA: Speaking of Rudolph, you’ve been seen out and about together- can you tell us, is there any truth to the rumours that you two are an item?
Snowy: How do they say it? We’re just friends…
AA: But last week there was a picture of the two of you leaving the ice bar at the Pole?
Snowy: I’m sorry, but that’s all I’m saying on the subject. Rudolphs been seen out and about with a lot of other deers over the years…I think it’s something about the nose.
AA: I guess he’s also got the rock star appeal? You know, driving the sleigh and all?
Snowy: Yes, those guys do the tour, I do the covers shoots. I learned the hard way though, those guys play as hard as they work. They train all year for the main gig and then go mad once it’s over. Just what do you think happens to all the alcohol and cookies that are left out for Santa? Yep, that’s right, they go onto the back of the sleigh and then there’s one huge party at the end of the night.
AA: You were seen out and about at a local talent quest during the week- is there any truth to the rumours that you’re being considered as a replacement for Keith Urban on The Voice?
Snowy: You heard about that?
AA: It’s hard to keep a secret in this town.
Snowy: I’m bound by confidentiality agreements, but let me say this- keep your eyes opened for Kindy Direction…
AA: You were seen checking into hospital the other day- was that for cosmetic surgery on the antler?
Snowy: I thought my publicist stated that cosmetic surgery was on the “don’t ask about” list!
AA: Well, the injury to your antler last year was so well publicised…
Snowy: All I will say is that I believe 100% in natural beauty. Who was your source?
AA: As I said, it’s hard to keep a secret in this town. How did the antler get broken?
Snowy: The accident last year was a result of a mosh pit episode and has absolutely nothing to do with a certain Australian cricketer- no matter what you’ve heard. Did you get a text?
AA: So what’s next for Snowy?
Snowy: As you know, December is a big month for me. So far I’ve done a stint in the traffic chopper, a monster truck, and I’ve helped out with road works on the M2- seriously, when is that going to finish? I’ve been asked to help out with pitch reports for the New Year test, but unfortunately my schedule won’t permit that.
I’ve given the commentary team a crash course earlier this week, so I’m confident they’ll be fine with it. Oh, I almost forgot, I’ve just finished collaborating with 1D at the Abbey Rd Studios. It’s a new Christmas album, but is pretty hush hush for now.
AA: I think you got papped leaving…
Snowy: Seriously? As you say, it’s hard to keep a secret in this town…
AA: Well, that’s all we have time for, so again, thankyou!
Snowy: Merry Christmas to all!!!!!! Oh, and if you need me to make an appearance between now & Christmas, you have my Managers’ number…
*all photos courtesy of Snowys’ publicity manager…