regrets, I’ve had a few…but then again…

in the rear vision…

Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention…

I’m a big believer in serendipity- you know that whole concept that a message or a person or a word will come up once, twice three times- as often as it takes for you to take notice of it.

This week that theme has been regret and repent. Both “re” words. Both words that I don’t do well. Hell, I don’t do “re” words well at all.

It first came up over a lunch where we got to talking about my old partition job.

‘Do you ever miss it Jo?’

‘No, not a bit.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Seriously.’

‘You don’t regret anything?’

‘No. I’m in touch with the people I want to be in touch with.’

‘Not even the money?’

‘OK, I miss the money, but not enough to make me regret taking the out option.’

Then there was a catch up email from a friend in England:

‘I bet you miss work. Do you regret leaving?’

‘No.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Seriously.’

Today a friend posted the line “tell me all the things you’d change…” and I had to think seriously, but the truth is, the honest truth…nothing. I wouldn’t change anything.

Sure I still harbor a fantasy about living in another country- we declined the opportunity to move to the South Pacific about 15 years ago. I’ve never regretted that decision, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t consider a move if something else comes up in the future.

I have a friend who always says things like “don’t you wish you had…”, “don’t you wish you hadn’t…”, “I bet you regret…” No I don’t. It’s all in the past and I don’t do rear vision stuff. I’m strictly a horizon girl.

It’s like when I was Godmother for my nephew a couple of months back my brother told me that in the service I would need to repent. This might sound arrogant, but I’ve done nothing that I feel the need to repent for. I told the minister this (you have to be honest about these things) and first he laughed, then he agreed with me when I explained my rationale, then he thanked me for my integity.

Sure I’ve done some stupid things, made stupid decisions, but at the time they were the right decisions. I’ve learned what I needed to learn. I’ve had some fun, and I would probably do it all again if I had the opportunity. I’d make the same mistakes.

Having said this doesn’t mean that I still don’t beat myself up every now and again over something or another…but I don’t regret having gone there.

The thing is, you can’t go back. Nothing can ever be the same again. That moment has gone. So, what is the point of wondering or yearning or what iffing? Having said that, we all do a little of it:

  • What if I’d taken the place at Canberra Uni for that journalism degree instead of Sydney Uni for the Economics degree?
  • What if I’d travelled instead of studied?
  • What if I’d said yes to that rich guy when I was 20 who was really boring but would have looked after me?
  • What if I hadn’t emptied that bottle of beer in my ex boyfriends lap before going out with the man who was to become my husband?
  • What if I said yes the time I said no?

Indeed, what if? My life would look different, but you know what? It’s pretty darned good now!

I’m a big believer in Free Will and Fate. Things are as they are when they need to be. Doors open and close when they need to. We let people in and shut them out and lose them when that is supposed to happen. It doesn’t mean it is easy, or hard- sometimes it’s both.

What it absolutely is, is real life. Speaking of which, I do regret not getting to the gym more this week…and I’ll probably regret to

After that amount of profundity on a Friday afternoon I need a glass of wine. Cheers.

What about you? Is there anything you wish you had done? A trip you wished you’d taken? A job you wish you’d said yes (or no) to? A man you wish you’d asked out?

Comments

3 comments on “regrets, I’ve had a few…but then again…”
  1. Hey Jo – like you I have no regrets about my life. I was married for 30 years and left that institution 9 years ago, But I have no regrets about that 30 years – they were a good 30 years, we travelled a lot as a family and had many wonderful experiences. But it was time to move on, and I don’t regret that either. As you said, as long as we make what we consider the right decisions at the time we should have no regrets 🙂

  2. Debbish says:

    Great post. I regret heaps of decisions I’ve made and sometimes can be overcome by the ‘what if’ question. BUT… like you, I don’t think I have anything to ‘repent’ for. And… quite frankly (and bizarrely) though I wish my life had been different (partnered up with a family would have been nice) I don’t necessarily HATE the person I’ve become, so the choices I’ve made maybe aren’t so bad after all.

    (There, I said it!)

    I love your frame of mind in this post! And you’ve gotten me thinking!
    Deb

    1. jo says:

      It’s weird when you sit down & think about it just how much you really DON’T hate who you are…although I still would like there to be less of me to love :)…but that one’s the work in progress.

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