abstaining from abstinence…and being busy

I’m trying not to feel guilty.

Twitter and the blogosphere are full of Dry-July-ers, No Junk July-ers and countless other healthy challenges. Hell, I’m participating in 2 of them- Paris in July and Photoaday July. Neither of which involve abstinence of any description. And seriously, the shape that my tummy is in, the one thing I shouldn’t be abstaining from is abstinence.

Don’t get me wrong- I admire the restraint. But as an all or nothing girl, I’m trying hard to learn about balance & moderation.

I do intend abstaining from a couple of things this month- guilt and fear- so can’t do the guilt thing this early in the piece. Or is that self flagellation? Sounds kinky, but I’m not doing that either this month- be mean to me, that is.

So, whilst this morning I was half regretting not signing up for Dry July, I’m over it by now. I do, however, intend cutting back on the things I should be showing more moderation on. Like alcohol. Currently I only drink on days ending in a “y”, but I’ll pull back on that a little.

The Twittosphere is full of declarations at the moment- sort of like mid year panic that New Year goals are as far away as they were on December 31. The astrologer in me would say it has something to do with Saturn moving forward and the upcoming Capricorn New Moon.

Either way, my goals are also looking much like they were at December 31. Possibly because I haven’t actually set them the way that goals are supposed to be set. Or is that self-flagellation again?

That’s not to say that I haven’t achieved anything this year- far from it. I’ve finished my chick lit book, and got some great and specific feedback from the RWA competition I entered it in. It now needs me to sit down & attack the next draft, but I am willing myself to avoid doing this until I’m sufficiently detached enough from my characters to look at them objectively. The Astro book is coming along nicely and the blogs are doing well.

I am still a long way from being published (but closer than I was at New Years Eve) and even further away from the weight and fitness “goals” I loosely set myself. Again, though, I’m not beating myself up about it. I have been, however, operating from a position of fear- and that needs to stop.

A friend last month had a “yes” month- a month where she said “yes” to every invitation or opportunity which came her way. She had an amazing month. My bank account (and family responsibilities) won’t allow me to go to that extent, but abstaining from abstinence is a good start. Abstaining from guilt, fear and self-flagellation (I can’t believe I’ve used that term three times in one post) will take me closer to my goals. Speaking of which, I need to actually document those.

Anyways, todays theme is “busy” and you’ll notice that my fixed training sessions have made it onto the schedule. Speaking of which, that’s another thing I absolutely am not abstaining from. Training is a non negotiable. Five sessions a week. Hard. And no, training does not qualify as self-flagellation. Far from punishing myself, training hard is me being nice to me. And being nice to me is another thing I’m not abstaining from.